Planning to marry a runner? - So, you are a non-runner and are about to get married to a runner. Don't expect him to be beside you in bed the moment you wake up in the morning. Expect her to accumulate more race singlets and T-shirts than she'll ever need. Here are a few pre-nuptial words of wisdom.
Runners too thin, says Surgeon General - Newly confirmed U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona unveiled a high-priority program that seeks to bulk runners up with a combination of nutritional education, exercise reduction, and millions of free cheeseburgers and thick-shakes. "Over-exercised and undernourished, runners threaten to slow America's rapid progress toward the goal of becoming the fattest people in the universe", he explained.
Cross country team addicted to sport drinks - A dangerous new fad has swept into Northern Idaho after local police raided a suburban garage late last Tuesday. Garbage bags of empty Mountain Dew "Amp" were confiscated and loaded into a dump tuck for evaluation at the state crime lab. Authorities are piecing together the stories of a secretive cult of long distance runners who had been abusing the increasingly popular sports drink.
Hugh Hefner swears off sex! - In an astounding turn about, legendary "Playboy" magazine founder, Hugh Hefner, has quit sex cold turkey after he discovered a new passion. "I found out what I was missing by spending my whole day with a bed full of playmates. They may all have been as soft as biscuits and smelled like strawberry jam, but they can't stack up to a good ten-miler. I'm just glad I found out about running before it was too late".
Insurance tips for runners - Many runners, bicyclists and triathletes are unaware of how their auto and homeowners' insurance policies might apply to them. Here are some tips.